I’m sure the land down under is great and all, but if the women are glowing I would be concerned about the radiation levels there.
Cannibalism just seems problematic.
Isn’t ‘Fart’ a great word?
Yesterday, I was given a free backpack for doing an Elvis impression.
I am round and fuzzy and have a penchant for stating the obvious.
How Can I Lean Not Upon My Own Understanding? →
Let me start this with some selfish desires I have. I want to analyze everything. I want to have the answers. I want to be wise. When I was a kid, I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to make stuff…
Adventures Of Living With Dudes, Pt. 2
Christopher, James and I carpooling to work at 5 am.
Christopher: Ugh. Did someone fart?
Me: Uh... yeah. Sorry. I did it outside but it must have followed me in.
James: Whoa, dude.
A few minutes later.
James: Man, I still smell it!
Me: Dude, I'm not that potent.
James: Wait, Chris, did you-
Christopher: Yeah, sorry, man.
James: Nah. It's okay. I only got four hours of sleep last night and it's kinda waking me up.
If Macho Man died today, does that mean the Rapture started early?– Brian Gilhuly
Garlic always wins. Always.
I just called to say I love you. And, also, to remind you to pick up the dry cleaning.
The Adventures Of Living With Dudes
Overheard From Downstairs.
Christopher: Hey James!
Christopher: I'm walking to the bathroom, and I'm coming out buck naked.
James: Okay. Well, I'll shut the door.
My iPod On Shuffle
is like an acid flashback. Or a disco ball having a seizure.
Reading Rainbow: proof that reading really is gay. But you don’t have to take my word for it.
Women Laughing Alone With Salad →
“Oh. My. Goodness. This salad is HILARIOUS!!!”
You know what I need? A bearskin rug and Joey Buttafuoco pants. Then I could mack on all the fly honeys.
I actually used the obscure Monty Python line “Enough of this gay banter!” at work today. Man, sometimes life really is awesome.
Did you know...
that at any given moment, there are at least 7 girls who are madly in love with me because of what I post on the internet? Well, ladies, (and you know who you are,) I appreciate you.
Not trying to brag, but my beard is reaching a level of epic that has heretofore been unrealized. Thanks, Portland!
A Poem i live in a house of soldiers i drink from the cup of fire will the sons of David gather at my table? for i wish to dine with the company of righteous men
If you want to disobey and refuse the laws that are common to us all, if you...– Charles Williams, Descent Into Hell
Hello. If you’re reading this, you should be smiling a little. Because you are a very nice person and I like you. There. I said it, and I’m not taking it back. I don’t care who knows it.
Man Arrested In Bra, Panties, Accused Of Stabbing... →
Jessica Dovey and the MLK misquote trend: How one Facebook status changed everything - What’s Trendi… http://me.lt/1R7WN
Saying the OTC (the Olivia Tremor Control) strive to be The Beatles is something...– An Anonymous Amazon.com Reviewer
‘Psychedelic Lollipop’ by The Blues Magoos: one of my new favorite records? Very possibly.
Every actual State is corrupt.– Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I were a yo-yo, I would probably go up and down a lot.